My Mom is Awesome

My mom totally rocks. I love to spend time with her. I'm so glad that we live so close and that we are such good friends. I hope that we never have to move away from here - family is so important to me.

My mom, sis, and I went to see Rain - The Beatles Experience (or whatever the formal title is) last weekend. It was excellent. My mom is a huge Beatles fan, so we grew up listening to them all of the time and became big fans as well. The show was reviewed as being the closest you could come to actually seeing the Beatles, and I would agree. Our seats were pretty good and we were lucky to have open seats on either side of us until partway through the second half. The three people who sat there looked really out of place. I don't like to stereotype, but they certainly didn't look like Beatles fans and they smelled and acted like they had done some pre-show partying. It's always a mystery to me when people pay good money to arrive at a concert totally late and drunk. Anyhow, we had a great time. My mom cried several times, and I had some tears myself at different points of the show. It's amazing how music can do that to you. I always wonder about people who don't listen to music - what a void.

I've been pretty down lately. I feel like my life is on hold. I still don't have a teaching job, so I'm majorly on edge. I've been applying to every opening that I can find within an hour from my house. I am only licensed to teach in this state, and I am avoiding trying to get licensed in the neighboring state because I have heard that it is difficult and can be costly. I will if I have to, but I'll wait a little longer. I know that there is no single answer to all problems, but if I had a job with insurance, I think my life would be so much easier. I could:
- go to an ENT to find out why I my ears have been plugged for almost 30 days
- start paying off bills
- start paying back my parents
- start paying off student loans
- start seriously thinking about grad school
- start planning a wedding
- start looking for a house
- etc.

It's not that my biological clock is ticking, but getting married and having kids has always been important to me. My mom's mom was young when she had my mom, but my mom didn't have me until her early 30s. That's certainly not old, but I don't think I want to wait that long. I want my parents to be young enough and healthy enough to spend quality time with my kids. I think my secret wish is for my mom to live long enough for my kids to become young adults. I would feel bad for my kids if they didn't get to know how awesome my mom is. I've already lost one set of grandparents and the "adoptive" grandparents that babysat for me when I was little. My mom's parents are both over 80...I guess it's my family clock that's driving my desire to have kids.

We can't afford a house right now, but we can't even really look until we know where I will be working (and where the boy will be working, if the union ever finds him work...) It just feels like everything is on hold until I get a job. I've jumped through all of the hoops. I've completed all of the requirements. And now I...wait. I'm in limbo. I have a part-time job that lets me make my own hours. I have no motivation to go to work. I just lay on the couch and watch tv or waste time on faceb00k. I don't sleep well, but can't wake up in the morning. Last night I had a nightmare that I got a position at the school where I did my second placement, but that my cooperating teacher barged in and took over everything, just like she would do when I was student teaching. Ahhh!

Today while I was laying on the couch feeling bad for myself, the phone rang. I have an interview next week. Fingers crossed.