I am a college graduate. And...so what?

My diploma came in the mail this week.

As a lover of paper and a lover of words, I have to say, it is the most expensive piece of paper with the most amazing words that I've ever held in my hands.

It was so hard - SO hard - to get that piece of paper. And not just financially. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. (Hello, 25 books that I carried around when I as writing my thesis!) (Why, oh why, did I think I needed to carry ALL of those books at one time?!)

And now it's over. I guess that some would argue that my life is just beginning. (How cliche.) Except I don't feel like it is. For so long, I was focused on finishing my thesis, finishing my portfolio, graduating, student teaching. And now it's done. Now what? I haven't found a teaching job. I'm scarily poor. I'm lonely. I have no classes to study for, no lessons to plan, no papers to grade, no parents to email. The boy and I were waiting to get married until after I finished school. And now I have. But - I don't feel any closer to getting married or having kids. What if I don't find a teaching job soon? Will I have to feel like this for months? It sucks. I worked so hard. I know I am a good teacher. I could get so much better, given the chance. I love learning. I LOVE teaching. And what am I doing? Nothing.

But I finally have a diploma in that fancy leather holder that I got a few months ago.